Huey's blog

www.dancing-notez.blogspot.com
认不清，看不清。。。

Monday, January 14, 2008

Leaving ECH ♥ 2:34 PM

Today was the first time that the fleeting thought of leaving ECH entered my mind. And the fact that this is my passion speaks volume of how broken down I feel right now. Of course, I wouldn't leave, as I've come so far from then till now. But this passion of mine is taking so many things away from me. I haven't been able to meet my bestie Liuyin for 3 whole weeks cos of the projs plus pre-PP practices; it's taking away my sleeping time, my patience, my energy, my time with loved ones, so many things. If I'm not careful enough, it's going to take my health and sanity away from me as well one day.

This is not something everyone can empathise with. Perhaps only the people from my batch and above can relate to these feelings. And maybe some of the year 1s (their course structure was modified).

I was almost close to tears when I left the childcare centre just now. 12 more to go with 2 and a 1/2 weeks. I can't go on anymore. I need to stop. Yet, nobody is waiting for me. Time is not waiting for me. I'm still moving on when every part of my body is screaming in protest. Ideas need to be brought out fast, and yet, my brain is jammed. I'm constantly trembling (with tears always threatening to fall out of my eyes), not because I'm cold, but because I'm so scared that I am unable to meet with the deadlines. I really need a big hug.

Went for lunch alone at Ikea after attachment. Bel wasn't there cos her leg's still in the cast. Nobody seemed to realise that I was swallowing my tears down along with my food (yes, I refuse to let them fall out).

Preparing for PP took alot of my time away. But I'm not complaining cos it's my responsibility to be there. NPCO is a big part of me as well. The concert yesterday was a success. I was so happy to see the seats filled up, and actually got a shock when I went to the reception area before the concert started. I couldn't get out cos there was a big jam at the entrance. At this point of time, I would like to say a big THANK YOU to ALL the performers, especially the committee. Thank you to all the 25 pple whom I invited. Vic, Lay Leng, Andre, Xin Hui, and Ivan - nice meeting u guys again! Hope you guys had enjoyed the performance. It was a memorable night. In the years to come, perhaps this could be the most memorable moments in my years at NP. I LOVE NPCO!

- -Huey-