Huey's blog

www.dancing-notez.blogspot.com
认不清，看不清。。。

Sunday, June 1, 2008

♥ 9:30 PM

Replies to tags:
Vicc: HEY! Yes, meet up soon! Before you leave S'pore for like forever and only come back once in a blue moon. lol
koonkit: Ahhaa.. Yeah, Kungfu Panda. =P but I don't have common test. LOL! Btw, Caleb is my little cousin.
Liyan: Yeah lo... My temperature goes up juz by thinking of tt person. :@ Grr.. haha. Yeah, thanks for your concern. You take good care too. =) Hope to c u again soon!
VIOLET!: N u too, gf! Jyjy =)
Ai: HELLO there! Haha... An unexpected visit! =) Thank you. Hope you are well! Cya soon =)

Another quiz:

1. At what age do you wish to marry?
26.

2. Study hard or play hard?
Study hard, then play hard.

3. Who is the person you can trust the most?
Me.

4. Do you think you have enough confidence?
No, not really. Confidence has never been my forte.

5. If you have a dream come true, what would it be?
My family, friends and myself to be blessed with good health and happiness.

6. Do you believe in seeing rainbow after rain?
Lets put it this way. A rainbow does not always appear after a rain, but, I believe in hope.

7. What is your goal for this year?
To find my direction in life again.

8. Do you believe in eternity love?
I wish to believe in it.

9. Have you broken someone's heart that he/she tried to commit suicide?
o_O Err, no?! I hope not! At least not to that extent. =X

10. What feeling do you love the most?
Love. Be it whether it's towards a family member, a friend, or the other half (I don't have one though! lol).

11. What feeling do you hate the most?
Hatred. It can consume you, the bitterness.

12. What are the requirements that you wish from the other half?
Responsibility, a caring heart, loyalty.

13. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
Yes

14. Do you believe in GOD?
I used to.

15. Who do you think is the most important person in your life?
Maternal grandma.

16. Who do you hope to be there with you always?
Ah ma too! Though I know it's not possible.

17. Who are your bestfriends?
Liuyin. =)

18. Who cares about you the most?
Definitely my ah ma.

19. Who do you think deserve your love?
Those whom I care about and vice-versa.

20. Are you willing to sacrifice your happiness for the one you love?
Yes.

Hmm, might as well juz state some things about myself, since I'm prone to doing quizzes recently. :
- People need to mix around with me for a quite a long period of time before they can really understand me better.
Xue Ying once said tt I'm suited to learn the erhu cos I'm like the instrument: hard to grasp the correct tune of the note. In other words, she meant that it's hard to understand me; what I'm thinking. But, I think that's a weird comparison! lol
- I'm not an initiative person.
- When I'm very, very bored, I would flick over to the Indian channel and watch Hindi movies with people cha cha-ing away amidst coconut trees suddenly in the middle of a quarrel/fight. Lol... Hey, some Hindi movies are really quite nice to watch, OK?! And some of their dances are nice too. Oh, stop laughing already.
- I like children. Duh.
- Reading/& being on a rollercoaster ride makes me forget about my unhappiness temporarily.
- Sometimes, I cannot help it but to be annoyed with people who cannot make up their minds after a prolonged period of time. Or do contradicting things.
- I don't ask about certain things more than once.
- When I do talk to someone about slightly more personal stuffs such as my family matters, it means that I trust the person enough to do so (though this doesn't occur very often). But, lets not talk about those very personal ones.
- I treasure little moments more than those prominent ones.
- Oh yeah, I don't really know why, but some people tend to be rather afraid of me at times. I'm not that scary, right? =X

Life is a bizarre thing, always full of unexpected twists and turns. A simple move, a simple decision, can incite a change of events that catch us off guard. Yet, we always have that little uncertainty inside us, asking 'what ifs' and 'what could have beens': 'Did I make the correct decision/move?', 'What if I had... ?'. Or, we tend to regret after not doing something that we'd really wanted to do because of that bit of doubt/fear inside us. More often than not, we choose escape in the face of certain problems, hoping that silence would make the problem fade away with the passing of time. Or, we bury ourselves in delusions, never putting up the courage to face the problem as it is.

I need a break - from everything - to rearrange my haywired mind and heart.

Something juz clicked into place in my mind. I'm angry partly cos things had to happen consecutively almost without any breaks. But the real factor behind it is cos it felt like I was a doll. Am I that funny to play with? What am I, a temporary replacement?? Another form of escape? I have a heart too, OK? OK?? Was it very funny, doing all these??! What was the purpose? For fun?!

*After gogging...
No... wait.. I think... I'm angry cos... the trust that I held to myself was broken. I believed. But that belief was shattered. I said what I said above cos all the recent happenings are taking a toll on me and my mood. 是气话。

That said, I'm never going to be so foolish again. I'm closing up.

Anyway, I miss all those people. I expect I always will. But, life still has to go on. There will come a day when the same thing will happen to me too. And everybody else as well.
与其让自己被回忆绑住，干却把美好快乐的时刻收藏在心里，勇敢地面对现在和期待未来，去创造更美好的回忆。因为被回忆绑住的人，往往不能向前走。。。我不要这样子。活在这种生活里太痛苦了。。。
所以，我决定。。。
放手。

- -Huey-